The Modern Christian Wedding
I got married six months ago and our faith is incredibly important to both my husband and me. Our wedding, and the start of our marriage, was something we knew would be built on God.
While we wanted a distinctly Christian wedding, I remember telling my fiancé, “I just don’t want our wedding to feel like a super traditional church service that drags on uncomfortably.” Neither of us love being the center of attention, and we aren’t ones to do things just for the sake of it. Our wedding was no exception to our philosophy of intentionality.
I’m in that season of life where many of friends and peers are getting married, having their first babies etc, which is a lot of fun, and includes going to a fair few weddings. Pretty much all the weddings I’ve been to, have been christian weddings, with incredibly long ceremonies, including essentially a sermon, several prayers and readings, singing a hymn or worship song as a “congregation” and while these are beautifully faith-filled wedding ceremonies, they’re not my style.
Many of the suggestions I found on Pinterest and blogs, were things like a three corded rope braiding ceremony, washing each others feet, a cross as your arbour… all very nice ideas, but for us, they weren’t quite right. We wanted the beginning of our marriage to be a real and authentic reflection of the God-centred marriage, family and life we are building, and throwing in things purely for symbolism, wasn’t something we wanted to do.
We didn’t want a ceremony with lots of people or too many moving parts; we knew the most important thing was the covenant we were making with each other and with God. It was essential that His presence shone through everything we did, in a way that was totally ‘us’. Here are a few ways we made that happen:
Walking down the aisle to a hymn
I walked down the aisle to an instrumental version of the hymn When Love is Found, played on keyboard and viola. While the lyrics weren’t sung, we included them in our wedding program for our guests to read. This set the tone for our ceremony and captured the heart and hope we have for our marriage. Choosing a hymn or worship song that resonates with you is a beautiful way to incorporate biblical themes and faith in a meaningful, natural way.
Here’s the lyrics to ‘When Love is Found’:
1 When love is found and hope comes home,
sing and be glad that two are one.
When love explodes and fills the sky,
praise God and share our maker's joy.2 When love has flow'red in trust and care,
build both each day that love may dare
to reach beyond home's warmth and light,
to serve and strive for truth and right.3 When love is tried as loved ones change,
hold still to hope though all seems strange,
till ease returns and love grows wise
through list'ning ears and opened eyes.4 When love is torn and trust betrayed,
pray strength to love till torments fade,
till lovers keep nos core of wrong
but hear through plain love's Easter song.5 Praise God for love, praise God for life,
in age or youth, in husband, wife.
Lift up your hearts. Let love be fed
through death and life in broken bread.2. Personal Vows based on scripture
Our vows were based on scripture we chose together, with some verses quoted verbatim. This brought God’s word front and centre, making our vows deeply personal, heartfelt, and sincere.
Here are a few of the scriptures we included:
Romans 1:9-12 NIV
“God, whom I serve in my spirit in preaching the gospel of his Son, is my witness how constantly I remember you in my prayers at all times; and I pray that now at last by God’s will the way may be opened for me to come to you. I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.”Ephesians 4:32 NLT
“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”Proverbs 27:17 NIV
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”Ephesians 4:15 NLT
“Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.”Ephesians 4:2 NLT
“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”Philippians 2:2 NLT
“Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.”
Proverbs 31:12 NLT
“She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”Proverbs 31:26
“When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.”John 13:35
“Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”Luke 16:10
“If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.”Ephesians 4:2
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”Mark 10:9
“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”Ruth 1:16-17
“Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the LORD do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.”
(this is one of my favourites that we included in our vows!)3. Bookmarks as wedding favours
I designed bookmarks as wedding favours, featuring 1 John 4:7: “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.”
4. Bible guestbook
My husband and I chose a bible together that would become our family bible, between the two of us, we have several bibles in a few different translations, and while my go translation is the NIV, my husbands is the NKJV, so we decided that OUR bible would be an ESV.
We set up our newly selected family bible, with a vision to read out of it together and one day with our children, as our guestbook, and asked our guests to choose and highlight a verse for us, and leave a note in the margin. Some left notes, while others simply signed by their chosen verse. It’s been wonderful to come across the passages our loved ones selected for us as we read together, and reflect on why these verses were chosen for us, and how we can apply them to our marriage.5. Wearing my cross
In my family, it’s a tradition to receive a cross necklace to commemorate our baptism. I wear mine daily and couldn’t imagine choosing anything else for my wedding day. Instead, I simply swapped the chain for a daintier one to suit the formality of the day while staying true to a part how I symbolise and represent my everyday faith.
